The Black Informant | African American Commentary, News and Community Building

The other day I received word that cousin of mine has been arrested for conspiracy to a recent murder in his hometown. On one hand I was shocked, but unfortunately I was not too surprised because he had been heading down that path for a very long time.

Devon (not his real name) started out in a married two-parent home. When he and his other brothers and sisters were a little bit older, their father decided to leave them for another woman. If memory serves me correctly, the father was at times verbally and physically abusive to his wife. Faced with being single with children, my aunt had no choice but to move in with my grandparents. Friends and family from time to time would help my aunt with the kids. In fact, there were many years where they would spend the entire summer at their aunt’s house — giving their mother a much needed break. Although Devon and his brothers and sisters did not have a father for a good part of their childhood, they at least had the support of surrounding family members.

Devon’s mother later remarried to a good man who not only loved her, but her kids as well. He did all he could to spend time with them. Although they were not his children by birth, he made it very clear that they were to respect him and their mother. This was when rebellon began to come into the picture. Devon hated this “new order” so much that he began to use the fact that he wasn’t their real father to belittle him and to also disrespect their mother. When his parents would kick him out of the house, he would go a runnin’ to his grandparent’s house for sympathy. Eventually, his some of his other siblings began to act the same way as they became older. Finially when his parents could not take any more of this disrespect (their own saftey became an issue), they had no choice but to kick him out permenately.

While on the streets, not only was he constantly in trouble with the law, but he got his girlfriend at the time pregnant. As for some of his other siblings, they also became rebellous and eventually left home as well. While they managed to complete school, out of wedlock children also became a part of their lives at early ages. One of his siblings also had brief trouble with the law as well.

My point in sharing all of this? Devon’s case is not unique. In fact it happens quite often in this country across cultural lines. The town where Devon grew up is filled with young men just like him who grew up in a fractured home. While it is my belief that his natural father started the cycle, it was Devon himself that made these irresponsible choices. For at least a couple of years back in the 1990′s my Dad and I would visit the local prison system where the cells were full of young men just like Devon. What angers me is that their plight in many arenas in this country only becomes a major issue when it is framed in the context of racism and poverty. While it is very true that their are cases out there where young men have been wrongly imprisoned, I can tell you that this is not the norm. Program after program can help alleviate the situation, but at the end of the day it is up to these individuals to make the right choices for themselves. While I will continue to praise men for stepping up to the plate by taking responsibility for their families and community, I will also continue to condemn folks who are quick to sweep situations like Devon’s under the rug of racism and poverty.

I pray that this latest situation sobers him up to reality.