One of the wonderful readers of this site just recently sent me this article and wanted to hear my take on the issue. I actually addressed this issue a while ago, there is another aspect of this issue that I wanted to address: the role of the pastor. Here are some excerpts of the article that was sent to me:
Men lead most Christian churches, but observers agree it’s the women who dominate the flocks. Though theories about the church gender gap have longed blamed men for their spiritual apathy, a new book finds another force driving men away from church: the church itself.
“The church is like a white cake with chocolate frosting,” said David Murrow, author of Why Men Hate Going to Church (Nelson Books, $13.99). “If you look at the icing, it’s male dominated. But if you plunge below, it’s feminine all the way.”
With its easy listening music, pastel-hued decor and an emphasis on comfort and nurturing, Murrow said modern church culture fails men craving a challenge.
“Right now churches are very focused on comforting people,” he said. “Many times we’re going to comfort them out the door.”
…For one, he said a man’s project-oriented, outdoorsy nature is not conducive to passively sitting through a worship service or volunteering to lead a children’s ministry.” (more…)
Typically, men are drawn to strong leadership. Unfortunately, most pastors are not strong leaders. In fact, I would go even further to say that many pastors are not even leaders–in a traditional sense.
For starters, many pastors are not licensed to provide provide professional counseling, but yet many of us still seek their counsel on issues (marriage, finances, raising kids, etc.) that should be handled by a professional in that field. I cannot tell you the amount of stories of people I personally know who were given bad advice by well-intentioned pastors who felt that the Bible was all that was needed to give advice.
Anybody that has taken the time to study the history of various indigenous tribes will find that when a leader was chosen, in addition to performing certain duties, in many cases the individual had to prove their worthiness by performing such feats as hunting and killing a dangerous animal, engaging in some type of hand to hand combat with another tribesman, or win a certain amount of battles for the tribe. By completing all of the required tasks, a candidate for leadership never had to worry about loosing members of his tribe due to his incompetence because he had already earned their respect as a competent leader prior receiving the title.
To become a pastor these days, for the most part all a person has to do is to graduate from seminary(where a person learns how to explain the Bible as well as how to work a crowd), enroll in programs that will allow he/she to try out what they have learned in school (teaching, preaching, how to manage a church staff, etc.), have the ability to keep the attention of parishioners during sermons, and finally find people that will follow them on their quest to fulfill God’s call on their lives. Although getting a degree can be hard work, that accomplishment by itself is not enough to earn the respect of men who are in search for strong leadership.
Although we cannot expect our pastors to be warriors in the traditional sense, parishioners should still insist that prospective church leaders provide proof of “warrior-like” characteristics. Here are some examples:
#How many kids were you able to help get off of drugs?
#How many families were you able to get out of poverty?
#In what tangible ways have you helped the elderly in your community?
#What community initiatives have you started that yielded measurable results?
#Have you helped homeless in your community to find work and shelter?
#What is the condition of your marriage (also ask the wife for her input)?
#How do you demonstrate to your wife that you love her?
#How much time do you spend with your kids? (also ask the kids for their input)?
(note: These should be actual accomplishments, not sermon titles)
How can a pastor preach on these things if he/she have never performed these actions?
These are just a few of the very pointed questions/expectancies I would have for someone considering becoming a pastor. Today, just knowing how to preach da’ word has become the main litmus test for someone desiring to become a pastor.
Men want to follow someone who knows how to blaze a trail on their own without having the entourages and unnecessary bodyguards in tow (what is the deal with pastors needing bodyguards anyway?).
Most men are not going to spend 2+ hours getting preached to, singing, and giving money to something that is not tangible to them. To them, it is a waste of time.
But if you ask a group of men to help run away drug dealers from a community, help a single mom purchase a heater for her house, build a house for an elderly person, etc. , most men will see the connection between what the Bible teaches and the real world and most importantly see their role between the two.
Anybody can have Rev. in front of their name, but it takes a man to lead men by example–with or without the title.
In these days, it’s probably better without the title.
