The Black Informant | African American Commentary, News and Community Building

the fact that you have to ask that makes me inclined to believe you’re not in love with a black woman…

The fact that you won’t answer the question makes me inclined to believe that you do not know how to answer–or afraid to.

This is not a deep question.

Being white I obviously cannot know why a black man would seek out a strong black woman over a woman of any other given race.

As a white male I don’t recall ever thinking I want a strong white woman.

As a parent of three girls and two boys, my hope for them is not that they find a stron white male for a husband or a strong white female for a wife.

I hope that they find a husband or wife of strong moral character who desires to fullfill their role as a husband or wife and father or mother.

For myself (when I was single) and for my hopes for my childrens future spouses race is not at all important.

Rhythm I’m sure you are a great woman, a strong woman.

I don’t know if you have children or not, but supposing you do what would mean more to you in terms of your childs happiness, security and productivity in marriage; that they marry a black person regardless of the character of that person or that they marry a person of character regardless of race?

I myself would rather my children marry a black man of character rather than a white person who has questionable character or is a piece of crap. It’s the person they marry that should matter, not the color of their skin.

Just my 2 cents.

Do you have a deeper question here? Are you asking ‘why do balck women feel it necessary to proclaim themselves as strong?’ Maybe you are not asking this- but I do feel that this is a valid question to discuss.

We all have heard a black woman say… “I’m going to be alright, ‘cuz I’m a strong black woman”. OR “I’m a strong black woman, and if he can’t handle that , then he can step”. on and on and on…

At first earshot of this, you almost always associate these words not with a strong black woman, but an angry black woman. A fed up black woman. A neck-rolling black woman. Personally, I think black women are some of the most hurting women on the planet. The tougher the facade is, the deeper the hurt. That’s true with anyone almost. I wish I could tell every black woman that if you have been hurt deeply by a man, the tough facade doesn’t heal anything. I just shuts other people out. There is nothing wrong with tenderness and gentleness. Some of the strongest people I know are tender.

Am I saying there is anything wrong with proclaiming your strength? No. But usually, the louder you proclaim, the more you are trying to convince yourself of your own proclaimation.

Is it true that women have been pillars in the black community for years? Yes. Is it true that we’ve held churches, organizations and businesses together in the absence of men and carried double the share of work?

Yes. But If I can be candid, I’d take a half’s share of work and a strong man of integrity (like my husband) by my side any day of the week. The beauty is that he recognizes my strengh and I recongnize his. I understand everyone does not have this.

My concern is that we have a lot of hurting strong black women who unfortunately would not know Mr. Right if he slapped them in the face.

And because of their past history, bad judgement, etc., they continue to make bad choices and end up with Mr. Wrong , cycling into more and more hurt. Then result… a lot of sad, bitter, resentful black women.

Strong… and alone.

Wow! I couldn’t have said it better myself Shelly.

I think the “strong” that Black men refer to simply means someone that can hold their own and has both moral and emotional strength. I don’t think they mean physical strength or a bullheaded woman, just someone that can hold it down if need be.