For about a month now, our family has been the owners of two kittens–both female. Now I really do have a soft spot for animals, just not for cats. The are just too quiet and too finicky for my taste. If I happen to be at someone’s house who has a cat, I have no problem petting or holding it if it allows me. But I am not going to chase it around the house to give me the opportunity.
Anyway, we got the cats because my wife loves ‘em and the kids wanted a pet. We tried a dog (my personal favorite choice) but she pissed up and toe down the apartment we were living in at the time. Speaking of ‘piss’, I got pissed because it cost hundreds of dollars to replace the carpet. After that ordeal, I decided against having a dog in our new house.
Our experience with pets has been one almost too embarrassing to mention. Our first pet was a white kitten I found on Craig”s list. I got it as a surprise for my wife as she had been begging for one for ages. We thought it would be a good idea to let the kids name the kitten, so they came up with the name–’Whitey’. Now please understand that our family pretty much made up the Black demographic of that small town, so this was already not sounding like a good idea. One day, the kids and I took the cat to the park and Whitey decided to get away for a while. Here you had this grown, over 200 pound sweaty Black man running through the park with his kids calling out for Whitey to come back.
Anyway, that cat loved scratching us a little bit too much so it got the boot.
Cat #2 we obtained from a shelter here in California. For about 2 weeks he did nothing but hide under our bed. Basically he was probably abused as a kitten so…peace! Back to the shelter.
I already told you about dog #1.
Cat #3 and #4 so far have been doing very good. We decided to get two for the simple reason that they would always have someone to play with when we were not around. All smiles now, right?
When we first got these kittens, I told my wife and kids that it would be their responsibilty to take care of them. That meant no litter box or feeding duty for me. Yeah, whatever!
As I expected, my wife has procastinated with getting them ‘fixed’, so guess what? One of them is in heat. All day and most of the night she has been walking around the house screaming wanting some playa cat to give her some love. She has even been checking me out a couple of times as if I could do something. We called some of the local vets in the area and they wanted $200-300 AT LEAST per cat. That’s nuts! Thankfully, my wife and I were in complete agreement that if it came to having to pay that kind of money, the cats would no longer hold residence in our house. We eventually found some shelters in the area that would do it for a fraction of that cost, but the there was a 30-day wait for one of the shelters. In the meantime something had to be done, so I got online to find something that could get her to chill until we found a doctor. This is what I found:
How to calm a cat in heat
Procedure:
* Grab wailing, squirming cat and place it on your lap with its hind quarters readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this procedure is followed, then certainly each time afterward.
* Insert the Q-tip into the cat’s vagina. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.
* Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat’s vagina slowly at first, then more rapidly. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a barbed cat penis digging around in there.
* You are finished when the cat is finished. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it enjoy itself for a few minutes before attempting to retrieve your Q-tip.
* That is it, you are done. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat flares up again.
What to look for: The cat orgasm that follows this procedure is something the likes of which I have never seen elsewhere. It is a wriggling, leaping, moaning dance of ecstasy that defies any experience of pleasure my mind can even begin to grasp. (source)
Okay, that right there is sick, nasty and completely thrown off!!!!
I told my wife and she almost gagged. Since then, I have been reminding her about the q-tips upstairs.
Long story short, we found a doctor that would do it at a very reasonable cost. So they will be getting it done today.
