Since the story of domestic abuse and possible divorce between Juanita Bynum and her husband Thomas Weeks has been in the headlines, jaws from coast to coast have been flapping over this whole unfolding drama. While most critics are using this time to rightfully shame these and other so-called ministers of the Gospel for fleecing folks out of their hard-earned money, I think that this is a good time for us to use our sudden marriage counseling skills to look at a much deeper problem in the church.
Just recently, my family and I watched the National Geographic program Inside the Living Body. There was a portion of this program that talked about diseases and how the body responds. One such disease is Chickenpox.
As soon as our bodies detect the presence of this and other viruses, the body’s defense mechanisms automatically go to work. Body temperature is raised to prevent the spread of additional virus-infected cells and in the case of the Chickenpox, little blisters are formed all over the skin as a sign that there is a mighty battle being waged inside of you.
Such is the case when some preacher or pastor is being exposed for years of mess he/she tried to keep in the dark. However, what many folks don’t realize (or don’t want to realize) is that these individuals are usually not alone in their double life.
Take for example, PASCH. Ever heard of it? PASCH stands for Peace and Safety in the Christian Home. This is Christian ministry whose main focus is addressing the whole issue of domestic abuse in the Christian home. In fact, if you were to do a quick Google search under the topic, you would find quite a few ministries that address the same issue. How can those of us who claim to be Christians become infuriated about the affairs of one couple, but are completely in the dark about this being a church-wide issue?
As far as divorce within the church goes, the news isn’t any better. Did you know that according to a study conducted by the Barna group ( a Christian research organization) that the rate of divorce among Christians is very close that the divorce rate on non-Christians (read the whole article to understand the numbers here)?
Jesus says in Matthew 7:1-5~
1″Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3″Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Most folks get hung up on that first verse believing that it is wrong to judge anything or anybody. However, you must keep it within context. Verses 2-5 basically instructs us on the right way to judge a person–by making sure you abide by the same boundaries you expect others to keep.
As a person who has spent a good part of his life working with both local and nationally-recognized ministries, I could spend a very long time dishing some of the dirt on prominent figures in the Christian world. However, while it is important to talk about Christian leaders who abuse their positions–cloaking it under ‘exposing the devil’, it is more important for me to see to it that I am treating my own wife and children in a way that is pleasing to God. It is also important for me to show others how to do the same. As for the phonies out there, usually their mess will be the very thing that hangs them in the end. I have a hard enough time judging myself.
