Here I was, working hard at my latest political commentary when I realized how inappropriate it would be for me not to acknowledge this special day. As far as I am concerned, there is enough political commentary to go around on the blogsphere, however, I am going to take this time to talk about the love of my life–my wife. When you have kids that seem to have an espresso machine in their room, with all of that energy it is hard for parents like ourselves to have just a few minutes alone. On Sunday night, after the kids went to sleep, my wife and I sneaked out of the house and took a walk around the corner and just held hands as we talked about different things. Needless to say it has been a while since we have been able to do something as simple as that. It was wonderful!
Below is a piece I did last month on why I love my wife. I am indeed a lucky man to have such a prize in my life. I will return to my regular commentary tomorrow.
Enjoy the day!!!
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Late last night I was doing a search in google for black man, loves wife. Most of the results had to do with either a porno site, or a person on the DL (down low) looking for someone of that description. In one lifetime, I have seen the depiction of a husband loving his wife being the pinnacle of a relationship to something that is generally viewed as corny or played out.
I have never met so many people in recent years that are so afraid to get married. When you mention “marriage” to a person these days, there is always this reaction like “Who me?” or “No way!”. When you really take the time to “hear” people like I do, you will see that a lot of this is based on the fear that it won’t work out in the long run. I especially enjoy watching a brotha’s response when the conversation leads to the subject of marriage. It also saddens me because in many cases, brothas (although we want to put out the image that we are tough) are afraid of additional responsibility. And we wonder why many of the children in this generation avoid responsibility.
I guess I was one of those weird brothas that was ready to be married. When I was looking for my bride for life, I wanted someone who was kind, sweet, gentle, caring, loving; you know, the usual. I also wanted someone who was not “soft”; someone who could literally take life by the horns and steer it without the fear of feeling like she was being “too aggressive”. Also, not a complainer! And finally, I wanted someone who was not easily intimidated (’cause I wanted someone who would always find it easy to tell me her opinion without feeling that it may rub me the wrong way). I was very fortunate to find and marry such a woman some years ago.
Little did I know at the time that all of the characteristics that I was looking for in a wife would be needed not too long after we told each other “I do”. Since being married, we have gone through more hell than most people have gone through being married for 20 years or so. I am talking about the kind of hell where you either hold on tight to close person in your life, or you just jump off a bridge and just end it. Despite all of this crap that we had to endure, I NEVER heard my wife complain, or pass the blame on me for one reason or another. We always tackled each problem as a team, and not individuals.
My wife has always been very supportive of my dreams and aspirations. She has never killed any of my dreams with her mouth. If one of my aspirations sounds a little too far out, she has no problem of giving me her honest opinion. I do the same for her as well. Just as she allows me to be the man of my house, I gladly allow her to be the woman that God made her to be. I want her to be the best that she can be and will do anything to see to it that she achieves that in her life. Just as she is submitted to me, I am submitted to her as well.
When she carried her post-birth weight, she would always ask me if her weight bothered me. I would always tell her that she is the same fine sistah that I first laid my eyes on years ago. I don’t know if she ever believed me, but I meant every word of it.
I guess the best thing of all that I love about my wife is that she is my best friend. We were very good friends before we got married, and became better friends after we were married. She still takes my breath away when I see her. Just as we did before we were married, we still can talk on the phone for hours when our schedules have us passing by each other like ships in the night. Despite all of my inadequacies, she still loves me very much, and for that I am a very fortunate man. I never see my wife as my “ball and chain” or “old lady”. She is my best friend, and I thank God for adding this priceless gem in my life.
