God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble
on October 14th, 2007 at 9:55 amSomething written by a great friend: my mom.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.” Psalms 46:1,2
While driving in to work early this morning, I noticed the sky that was a beautiful orange just as the sun was rising. It was a sign of the approaching fall season. New Jersey is not known for a lot of good things…high taxes, high car insurance rates, high crime in our urban areas, etc, etc. But one thing that I love here is the fall season and I can feel it in the air. Southern NJ where I live still has lots of rural areas with farms and it was in such an area where I saw my autumn sky this morning.
As I admired God’s handiwork, I was brought back to a time 5 years ago, my husband had passed away several months earlier and I was still in the early stages of grief. I was able to “function”, but it was a very hard time for me. And I remember driving to work on that particular day and noticing the autumn sky, and crying so hard I almost had to pull off on the side of the road to get control of myself.
Autumn was our favorite time of year. With the first sign of fall we would head up to Pennsylvania Dutch Country (Lancaster) to see the awesome fall foliage, drink the best homemade apple cider and eat some of the best Amish food this side of the Ohio River. We stayed at the Willow Valley Inn on numerous occasions that was in a beautiful part of that area surrounded by antique, craft and candle shops. Autumn was our time and when my husband was gone I felt like part of me was gone too and I could not find myself. I felt that I could not go on, the sorrow was too much for me to carry and I felt it crushing me. Questions ran through my mind as I looked at that autumn sky 5 years ago. How can I make it without him? How can I live alone? How can I face another day Lord? I suppose that I felt like I could ask these questions and talk to God because in the beauty of His handiwork I felt His presence and I knew that He was near. But His nearness did little for my broken heart that day. I never lost my faith in God, but I felt that I had little hope of ever coming out of the pit of grief and sorrow that I was feeling.
But this morning as I looked at the autumn sky, the Lord reminded me also of how far I have come. His spirit whispered, “Remember how you felt 5 years ago? How do you feel now?” And I blurted out “Lord I have come so far” “ You have kept me” “I have made it through these years!” Needless to say just how joyous I was as I had my “AHA” moment in realizing that yes it had been hard, yes there were times that I felt like giving up and yes I still miss my husband. But GOD is faithful; He remained a constant help in my time of need! Sometimes walking beside me, sometimes carrying me. God was there whether I felt it or not.
On top of all that Alvin Slaughter’s CD “The Faith Life” was playing on the car cd player and the song “Made me glad” came on and the words to the chorus says “You (speaking of God) are my shield, my strength, my portion, Deliverer.
My shelter, strong tower, my very present help in the time of need.” I was beside myself in joy as the words were repeated over and over again! I didn’t care who saw me praising God in the car, ‘cause they don’t know what and how the Lord has brought me through! Hallelujah!
Even though I have a ways to go, I am not where I was 5 years ago. As I walked the journey that I thought was impossible, God in His magnificent love, patience and wisdom, guided me through the obstacles and is continuing to bring me through each step of the way. He’s an awesome God!
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