LOL!

You know, I’m reminded of my admiration of sport films where the unknown coach is assigned to a team that is in desperate need of real leadership. So what does the coach do? He raises the bar of expectancy for these players by not accepting middle ground. It’s usually later in the film where this coach learns that the “pedal to the metal” approach also has to be sensitive to individual needs. Nevertheless, the team learns very quickly that if they are to win future games, they all must be willing to do what it takes to win (getting over personal issues, whining, pain, etc.) Somehow this coach was able to instill in them a desire to be the best.

When I ponder on this situation regarding sexuality and its unwanted byproducts, I oftentimes ask myself “do we have a much higher respect for sports than our own kids?” For years we have tried the middle ground approach in the Black community and we are failing miserably. We have allowed politicians, “leaders”, activists, etc. to tell us in essence “Awww, its okay if you are losing the game, after all most of you are too poor and Black.” On the flip side, I would challenge ANYBODY to visit a basketball court in the inner city and use that same line on the losing team.

Now let’s be honest here, folks are going to slip up and still engage in sexual activity beyond marriage. But if we were to raise the bar on ourselves in this area, those persons who “slipped up” will walk away from that encounter with a level of guilt that will in effect increase the chances that they will not make the same mistake twice. By allowing the middle ground, folks have some assurance that a safety net will be there to take care of the byproducts. The problem here is that we have way too many people who have merged the safety net with their perpetual bad life choices. And of course in order for this to work, you need folks who are willing to model it out.

“No sexual intercourse prior to marriage means we end up with situations where couples are buying a pig in a poke.”

Test driving the car before you purchase it is no guarantee that you won’t get a lemon. While that might not be a good comparable example, my point is clear.

It should begin with us, what we do in our families, how we train our children. It may feel like a fish swimming upstream, against the current today’s society teachings But we CAN train our children to set higher standards and yes virginity until marriage is possible.

I am dealing with a young person now that has never been trained in her home to respect herself. And because she has no self respect she has a serious STD and has spread it to God only knows how many people, some know and some do not know yet that they have been affected.

So…is “test driving” the answer? I think not.

Whilst, I feel you on this one Bruh BlackInformant, I think some sort of middle ground is needed; for sex can be very important to a successful marriage.

No sexual intercourse prior to marriage means we end up with situations where couples are buying a pig in a poke.

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