Comments on: “Are monogamous relationships possible?”

By: saved sister

saved sister — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 23:06:39 +0000

I am divorced, happy successful, black women and I would love to see proof of a monogamous black man. It makes me sad. But I am hopeful.

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 06 Dec 2005 11:15:42 +0000

Black women and men are absolultely precious and to be esteemed highly and loved as creations of a God who is competent and loving, and Jesus was not a fool to die on the cross for black women and men or people of any color or race. To devalue a person of any gender or race is to make Jesus out to be a fool and to make God out to be a lousy Creator.

The fact that Tyra could be cheated on proves with a shadow of doubt that when someone is cheated on, it is not because of any inadequacy in the person being cheated on, but it rests in the lack of backbone, integrity, sincerity, decency, and love of the person doing the cheating. Some people love people and some people merely love the objects of pleasure, comfort, or relief they can get from people, and once those true objects of love move to another person, the love moves with those objects leaving the person behind.

No, Tyra should not lose hope and expect that all are unfaithful and incapable of monogamy. Tyra deserves better. She deserves a real man and real men don’t cheat.

I’m sorry, I’m not black, but when I watched Tyra’s show this evening, I felt somewhat sensitive about this issue because my wife was unfaithful to me, and for awhile I also wondered what was wrong with me and wondered what I could do to save the marriage while my wife played the other man against me to have us compete for her affections by giving her what she wanted. It’s totally narcissistic, selfish, immature, infantile and cowardly.

Anyway, not that it matters, but I’m white and my ex was chinese-indonesian. Four years later I had a wonderful girlfriend who was Filipina, but her family would not approve since I was not Catholic, so the break up hurt, and yet we could see how it worked for the best, and now I have a wonderful girlfriend who is singaporean and we are both desiring to marry one day. But, had we not met, I could never see myself ruling out the possibility of marrying a black woman if she were deeply committed to the Lord.

By: Michael Grundy

Michael Grundy — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 21:17:49 +0000

This is a very complicated topic due to the fact that there are so many reasons why monogamous relationships face so much peril. I am glad that people are talking about this topic. I feel that self-image and media influence have a lot to do with the state of love and relationships in black society. Black women have been devalued to the point that Black men (not all black men) treat them like something that is disposable instead of something that should be treasured. Moreover Black women are losing sight of the value in themselves because of such treatment. In short we must find love for ourselves (love the skin we are in) before we can love someone else.

By: Steven J. Kelso Sr.

Steven J. Kelso Sr. — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 00:15:08 +0000

What kind of idiot would cheat on Tyra!!!!!!!!

By: Keith

Keith — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 04:41:52 +0000

Great post.

I would add that not only is a monogamous relationship possible they are in fact needed for a civil society to function at it’s highest potential.

By: Julio

Julio — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 13:50:08 +0000

Thanks for a wonderful post, Duane.

Check out Willard Harley’s work for some practical solutions that have helped me in the past: http://www.marriagebuilders.com