Today I have been discussing the whole issue of abortion with one of the readers of this site. It is always good to discuss such con traversal issues without tearing each other down. Please go to the post entitled Thanking mom for not erasing him to catch up on the discussion.
During this conversation, the question of weather or not an unborn baby is the sole “property” of a woman came to me. As I brought out in my discussion, a baby is made up of both the man and the woman. This completely invalidates the claim that abortion is solely a woman’s right.
What the feminist movement has succeeded in doing is making the whole issue of child bearing a woman’s only issue–neglecting the fact that it also took a man to create that child. The feminist movement just plays on the fact that it is the woman that carries the child. By taking this stance, what they have done is given weak men who were already irresponsible prior to the encounter yet another reason why they should stay out of the life of their child.
By making child-bearing a woman’s only issue, feminist have taken away the equal ownership men have in the situation as well. If we are to accept the ideology that men have no say in the child-bearing process, then there should be no criticism levied on men who don’t take care of their children once they are born. Like motherhood, fatherhood begins at conception.
I think that it has been very unfair that most criticism aimed towards women who have had abortions has not been directed towards the men who helped make the baby in the first place (please note here that women who have had abortions are not always victims. According to feminists, this is all about choice. Therefore, constructive criticism is valid). As I said in my earlier discussion, men who do not take care of their unborn child have already committed a “type” of abortion. What I find very puzzling with the “It’s the woman’s body and the government should have no say over my body” argument is that the same government they reject having any kind of authority over their bodies is the same government they use to chase down men who do not “pay up” for not supporting “their child”. At what point is it determined that it is now become the man’s responsibility?
I agree wholeheartedly that government should have no say over the choices that one makes with their body. Nevertheless, I also have to acknowledge that the “body” that we are talking about belongs to both the man and woman. If Conservatives want to treat abortion as murder, then I am all for it. If that is the case, then men who do not care for this unborn child and mother should equally be prosecuted. I prefer to leave government out of this process.
After a child is born, if both the mother and father decide to give the child away for adoption, then it should be a decision where they both agree. Once the child is gone, then there is really nothing binding these parents together other than the fact they had a child together or if they were legally married. If it is a case where the two cannot agree whether or not to abort the child, then this is something that should be decided in the courts because both have equal share with this child. As I eluded to earlier, because we live in a society where the perception is that the unborn child is solely the property of the woman, you will not see too many court cases over this issue.
I will repeat myself one last time here: Just as it should be the responsibility for a woman to care and nurture her child full term, it is also the responsibility for the father of that child to see to it that both mother and child have everything that they need regardless if the two do not get along. Once that child is conceived, then it becomes all about that child at that point. This is a fact that is hard to accept by many because in this self-centered society where we live, we are not used to laying ourselves down for something other than ourselves even if it isn’t part of OUR life plan.
(recently added) Another thing that we do not want to accept is the simple fact that there are risks when having sex. Society tell us that even if the risks do not favor us in the end, then we have now become the victim. When a man has sex with a woman, he is doing so at the risk of becoming a father in 9 months with child support. For the woman, she is playing with the possibility of carrying a child for 9 + months. All of this is forgotten in the heat of the moment while Barry sings in the background. Ultimately, you cannot cheat biology. You cannot smoke crack and not expect to get high, so why have sex and feel life has given you a “blow” if pregnancy is the result.
For years, women in this country and around the world have been considered second class citizens. This is very wrong and unfortunate especially in societies considered to be advanced. At the same time, there also needs to be an acknowledgment from feminists that there are also many men in our society who do not feel this way and condemn such lunacy. The lives of children (both unborn and born) should not be used as a game piece in this war of the sexes.
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