The Black Informant | African American Commentary, News and Community Building

Like the article and its attempt to look at the reality of the stripper and the felt necessity by some of these women to make such a choice. First off, I respect women as a balance to the male and female whole, but strippers kind of lose points with me no matter the reason they do it. I think it sucks that we have this idea of something like this being credible if you are poor are trying to get by in college. It seems that there is a more deeper moral issue here. As for what she mentioned about respect I think the most important respect level starts within ones self. Does American society teach self respect ? The all popular “image” who defines it ? I don’t really care whether people respect me or not if I respect myself first. I’m male but I think men especially black men have to wrestle with image and is this what I should do, is this how I should put myself out there. The bottom line is we live in a free country but at what point do we take responsibility and stop being led into treacherousness by the decisions we make behind money ?

On issues like these I am the typical fence rider. On the one hand my morality tells me that shaking your butt for money is wrong. But then my capitalist side says shake what you mamma gave ya. I think some women especially feminist like to think these women are being abused or taken advantage of. I disagree. While clearly some women choose this path becuase of past abuse some choose it for the quick buck. And by the way if men didn’t want to see T&A then these clubs would close down.

I like my T and A in the comforts of my own home.

I am convinced that there is a lack of self-respect and a peculiar presence of self-hate associated with the stripper/prostitute industry. I lump the two together because a fair number of strippers I have had a chance to encounter were prostitutes as well. And their business lends itself to the prostitution of their dignity well before the sale of their bodies.

There were strippers at my bachelor’s party and just about every bachelor party I’ve been to in the last 20 years! These young ladies were usually below average in the attractiveness scale, they were very rarely in good shape(most seem to be flabby), very few appeared to have any real skill at dancing, they carried themselves with a supreme lack of dignity, and felt their self-worth was found by shaking their mammaries or doing “wierd” things with their coochies! At my bachelor’s party, I spoke briefly with the young ladies and respectfully asked them to NOT touch me during their “show” (I had well over 60 guys at my party, so they had plenty of attention and made plenty of cash)!

The risk of what allegedly happened with the Duke lacrosse team could’ve occurred at any number of events that I have attended where strippers were present. Each of these parties included large numbers of men, a few women, and usually LOTS of mind-numbing alcohol. I must say that in a number of instances, the girls’ “pimp” was also in attendance, but that person was usually more concerned with collecting the money (in the form of single dollar bills) that were thrown, tossed, and rubbed on the young women.

The income from stripping is not that great, since the young ladies usually have to “pay” their “employer” to get away for the evening to strip at a private party AND I’m sure the “pimp” doesn’t work for free. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of these young ladies were high on drugs or have a drug habit to support.

What would lead someone to such a life? I can’t say, but I’m sure that you will not find ONE stripper who is oozing with self-confidence and self-worth! I only pray that my daughter will never find herself in such dire straits that will drive her to participate in such a tawdry industry. Yuck!

You condeem them but yet you still sit and watch. Even had them at your party. What does that say about you.

Saudia wrote: You condeem them but yet you still sit and watch. Even had them at your party. What does that say about you? [I added the question mark]

I reply: I was offering my insight into why women may CHOOSE to strip. That’s a different issue as to why I would CHOOSE to sit and watch… start a post about that and maybe I’ll submit myself for your psychoanalysis. *SMILE*

Women strip because men pay them well to do so.

Men love sex and the women who sell it… i’s that simple.

And there is absoulutely no enjoyment on the part of women that do this kind of work? Its a two-way street here…and the THIS street, the main intersection in NEED and SATISFACTION.

I used to strip, I think at the time you try to forget where and what you are doing for a job.The more alcohol you drink the easier it is then the next morning you look at all your money and you try to justify it but when it comes down to it you feel dirty and worthless.Still there is nothing wrong with it , it does help alot of people in a time of need, there is alot more married men there then wives would like to believe.

I still remain on the fence. But if it makes you feel dirty why not go work at McDonalds or as a janitor.

I am working as a stripper now, but it wasn’t really by my choice (I know everyone will say it HAD to be, but you don’t know the circumstances behind it). I started as a waitress at a strip club because I was saving for a car while going to college. No I’m not supporting my way through college, but while taking a full 15 hr courseload each semester, balancing my time between classes, and studying, it was a lot easier to find time to study, only having to work 3 days a week, and making a lot more money than working a 5 day week at McD’s. Then came the day when a man, a pimp and I didn’t realize it at the time, started buying me a couple drinks, and I eventually was talked into trying the stripper ‘carreer’. That night, I drunkenly agreed to go see his other girl who was supposed to teach me to walk in heals, and went back with hit to his apartment. I practiced a bit, then went to sleep, waking up the next day realizing what the fuck I had done. But now it is a bit too late to go back. After I went to sleep he took my money that I’d made that night and what little I had saved previously that I only brought to exchange my 20′s for hundreds and had been planning to take back to my dorm, totalling about $900. He ‘holds’ our money and he decides what to do with it. He has threatened me that if I leave he has a number of people who can take care of me, if I turn him in, they’d do the same. He still allows me to go to school and says that this is a way of building my ‘street smarts’, preparing me for graduation so I’ll be able to stand up to people though he is breaking me down in the process. I realize I have no real feelings it seems anymore ane it feels as if he’s broken my soul. I don’t dare defy or question anything he says or he’ll hit me or scream at me for hours. I just feel so empty and I don’t know what to do. I am in my dorm at this moment in time, only because I have a research paper due tomorrow, though I can hardly even concentrate to do it. I am only 19 and I feel I’ve already flushed my life down the drain. The worst part is I see this girl, my ‘House Wife’ (and we call him Daddy, D in public) and she blindly follows everything he says. I’ve tried to tell her something in confidence, only to have him come to me and question me about it later, and I realize that by staying here much longer, this will be me in the future…

I like the last post about the McDonald’s or Janitor. I met a stripper once, who was nothing but class and intelligence. I gave her a little bit of money while she was up on the stage (my last one, I swear), and after she was done, she came over to chat. She invited me up to the bar, and started to buy me drinks. Seriously, this has never happened to me before, but I started to chat with her, and found out that she was an IT professional, who only worked there occasionally, to fulfill her own perversion. She said that since her last long term relationship, she doesn’t date much, since alot of guys don’t even notice her in her role at work, or think that she is unapproachable. Men seem to change in the environment of the club, and the girls become the aggressive one…forcing themselves to talk to guys. The guys make believe that the girl is truly interested, and in some cases they may be, I mean they probably go to the available guy that is the least intimidating, or better looking, or maybe they just see an opportunity. Anyway, she was right, I probably wouldn’t have approached this woman in “real-life”, since I would have been intimidated or worried about getting shot down. Besides, I’ve seen it time and again, a beautiful woman with an older, or uglier man than you would assume she’d be with — but woman aren’t as visually stimulated as men — they value other things. Maybe, since their clothes are already off, it forces the guy to really listen — which probably turns us on even more– when we actually listen to the girl. Even if whatever she’s saying could be a complete lie — she can be whoever she wants to be, and feel sexy to boot.

God I love research.

My feel on the whole thing is if someone wants to work in a strip club may she be stripping or bartending or cocktailing it is her choice. I personally work as a cocktail in a strip club let me tell you I have a regular full time job and working one night a week cocktailing makes me more money then in one week at my job. I dont let the men touch me or talk down to me. I am not ugly or pathetic. Actually I was chosen as 1st runner up at the Mrs. Wyoming America beauty pageant a few years ago. I am married I have been for 10 years. We have 3 children. I am from a upper middle class family. I have two great parents who are still married and support my decisions 100%. To discuss the strippers they are all wonderful women. They are just out to make money. Good money. So if you think everyone who does this type of work is looking to fulfill something that they may be lacking your wrong. We do it because we love it we love the money.

I feal like sometimes dancing is what I have to do because my back is up against the wall and there is nothing else. I’t's hard to find a job and when I do find a job they either don’t pay well or if they do pay well, they don’t give me any hours so,it’s like being between a rock and a hard place.It feals like slavery too because of all the work I do for the little pay. I’m tired of working hard then when I get paid, I still don’t have enough money to live off. I’m in school right now to be a paralegal and I will graduate in a year and ten months. I regret not finishing school years ago. I’m twenty eight now. I just need gainful employment so I can have money to live until I graduate and find a job.

I like to dance and thought about it at one time then remembered someone telling me that between dances the poles are wiped down with alcohol; the smell of alcohol, not the drink although was it Betty Ford who drank rubbing alcohol in desperate times? Another turn off to me was the thought of seeing, dealing, pretending to guys that were nasty looking, dirty, skanky, fat, certainly not for $1 as not even for well, maybe if I could wear a mask, the blind stripper? I think about a pole in my bedroom for my own entertaining purposes with my man/friend/husband, as he would be the determining factor for my decision. We could use real money or funny money, like monopoly, so we would both win, win-win negotiation, and still have respect in the morning. I feel and think that relationships should not be the same old thing, but keep life interesting, both willing and wanting the relationship to work then both have to work to keep it fun, interesting and not boring; but then again if someone is a cheater, liar and abuser then it doesn’t matter since actions speak louder than words. I find that people can justify anything, anyway, any lies, any words, to do what the want to do no matter how good that other person is, being honest not just saying what words sound good, as a person can be the best person and if that other person wants to cheat or do whatever, they will find a reason, excuse, justify, blame the other so to feel they have the right, they are not treated good, they are this or that, whatever, but it all comes down to how I want to live my life and the other wants to live theirs but not to play games with a heart, mind and soul is selfish and wouldn’t want that done to them; the old karma, reap what you sow and etc etc. As I will not settle just to have someone but can have cake, ice cream and a dish with two spoons then dance it off or dance first then double our pleasure? Just think the strippers may make a lot of money but I am sure worth more than $1 – if you are lucky maybe $5 crack whores get more than that to make money; just think how many men can spend $10 on a strip of 10 tickets to not even leave with a stuffed animal for their girl as it is all a show like the carnival; all clowns, make up and escape from reality as make sure you wiped your pole down before leaving or you will be facing more than reality as either the door hits your pole or your pole hits real life rality of home.

Do these men tell there spouses where they go as they are proud or do they lie as they know they are doing something wrong and a real man who is proud to say they are going to the strip club so then their daughters think it is ok because daddy goes?

Because of our situation inwhich I felt I was enabling my X-Girlfriend, I asked her to leave. She has returned to stripping instead of doing what she “really” thinks she wants to do which is write. I have read her writing and she is talented and has written a screen play and talks about the re-write; however, once again she is back into the strip clubs, prostitution and drugs.

my roommate is a stripper i feel bad for her i wish she would get out of it. it’s a terriable life no self-esteem your body is like a used piece of furniture. I wish i could help her but she’s to far gone it’s sad to watch.

I used to be a dancer. We didnt take our clothes off so I dont really concider it stripping. I was 18 when I started and I was dating someone I’m convinced I’m going to marry someday. He hated me dancing but saw how much I loved it. I loved it because I not only got to go out and club all the time, but I got paid for it too ya know? And the people that I worked with had their own stories of why they were there and most of them were GOOD people. It eventually drove a wedge between my and my boyfriends relationship and I quit dancing but I worked there as a shot girl instead because I like the atmosphere and the people there. Because thats what they are… people. I have no idea what is wrong with more than half of you. Like you dont have anything else going on in your life better than talking garbage about other people. It’s not your job to judge everyone. Everyones done something theyre not proud of and if they are ok with it, its no one elses business. Because YOU think something is morally wrong doesnt mean it is. Some people hold a higher standard than others and its neither right nor wrong. Its probably something you should think about before gossiping about someone, like, I dont know, a stripper… because they can read. The difference between Fitzpatrick’s article and what you guys just wrote is your own personal distaste and bashing of what someone chose as their profession, not information about the question at hand. Think of it like youre back in grade school- if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all.

From everything I have read I see two reason why womem strip, lack of self confidence and fianacial gain. If these two areas are in tack then we would see less women in strip clubs.I feel what we see on T.V. and see on newstands in black communities just continues to reinforce this behavior.If more positive alternatives were shown then less women would venture into this profession. Money and self-confidence can be established in other areas of work were you don’t have to take your clothes. How much do parents play a part?

its funny. i think men go in there to feel better bout themselves….they got their wives bitching at them all day then they come into a strip joint and degrade girls cuz they cant degrade their wife quite pathetic if u ask me but i am a dancer…i am truly poor and have a child to support so thats that…as for my self esteem its fine only when im in there does it go to shit….then i leave and feel fine again it doesnt define me as a person there is more to me then “stripper”. when im at the strip club there are more bad days then good but those good days are really good meaning i wasnt totally degraded that day like maybe me n a guy sat down n talked bout his poblems at home and i give him some insight he gives me money then we all go home feeling better

I don’t get why people think stripper only do it for the money and that they are poor and less educated. I have a master degree and currently working in the health industry making good money but I am thinking of becoming a stripper myself. I would like to experience different thing in my life as long as I am okay with it..what is wrong with taking clothes off and dance. I do enjoy going to a strip club and see how beautiful the girls are..I don’t get you people here degrading the stripper.
On the other hand I dont’ get why you guys would think those who work at mcdonald are better than strippers..you think they got better pride? I would say everyone can work at mcdonald but not everyone can work as a stripper..you need to have confidence in yourself in order to strip and I am sure no strip club would hire girls that are not attractive with bad body figure.

Carly,

If you are in a situation where you feel trapped or abused I suggest you contact an organization like Star Light Ministries (starlight-ministries.org). Cages of fear and abuse can imprison you just as well as those of steel and concrete but there are people out there who have dedicated their lives to helping you get free. Don’t give up!

Im not sure how i came up on this site! But I am currently working as a stripper/dancer. And its not because I am poor or have no confidence or education. I am a typical young lady at the age of twenty two. I have a fiance one child. I dance four nights a week, making enough to raise my family with help from no one! I have my own place, car and never worry about bills or having enough of anything! Its not degrading i enjoy entertaining that’s my job. These men come in to see me not for my body believe it or not, but for my attitude.. my smile.. my conversations and jokes.. these guys have seen plenty of ass and boobs.. hell they could stay home with their wife’s for that. They come to the club out of boredom and lack of communication at home! So i hope you people would stop with all the negative thoughts about strippers.. its nothing more than a show, or a private dance, a fantasy for lonely old men! Well i have to go get ready for (work) ! yes its a job…

Hey the love of my life got robbed and lost everything. Now she is getting evicted and is behind inherent car payments and now she just started striping pleasehelp me help her

I consider myself a very normal young man. I’m single with no wife or girlfriend. I’ve tried in vain to get a girlfriend, not based on looks but based on personality and friendliness, honesty and a good person. Believe it or not, not everyone that goes to these places has a wife or girlfriend. Believe it or not, not all of them are perverts or sickos, mean people or creeps. Some of them JUST want female companionship. It’s very hard to find a girlfriend for some men and very hard for some very kind generous men to get girls to be friendly to them. I mean it could be as simple as laughing at a joke, having a conversation, making him feel important, holding your hand even for me. However artificial that laughter, importance, or conversation maybe, it’s a nice change from reality being rejected and shot down by girls after multiple attempts to be the nice guy and do the right thing. The worst thing I ever did was get in a food fight in middle school I mean, men that go here aren’t all bad or creepy. Sometimes, women confuse us we try to be a kind person but they don’t want that. We try to work hard but they don’t want that either. That does not get a girls attention and most could care less about that man that tries to be noble and bend over backwards for her because that’s the way I am and it has gotten me nowhere. I would NEVER go to a place like this if I were in a relationship, had a wife, or had a lot of bills, children, etc. but I also don’t believe that if a man wants to pay for 3 hours of artificial friendliness that that makes him a bad person or that it makes the girl a bad person.

the problem I have with strippers is this. most women who strip hate men but at the same time, they want as much of the man’s money as possible.

the reason women cannot leave stripping once they get into it, is because there is so much money and it is easy money. also, the idea of making more money having sex, makes it even better.

it is a double negative for me. women want men’s respect and power, but at the same time, they really only want the money to have power over men.

that is why strippers will never have any respect from men.

Think of it like youre back in grade school – if you can’t take the truth, critizism or other view points stay at home with mom and dad. When you get paid for working a body you have not created yourself and get so much attention and money for it, you can not expect all feedback to be positive especially as it encourages addiction, infidelity, prostitution, lie and other immorality. Prostitutes, Strippers and dancers are to me not very smart as they trade things of greater value such as their dignity, trust, respect, love, hope & self-worth for lower values such as money, attention and pleasure. Later most will use their money to try to regain what they have lost, but never will. Using sex for money is a poor priority for those who wish to claim that we live for more than just sex and survival to become worm food, for it destroys the notion of love, trust, respect and self-worth which is why so many women in these fields change both their names and looks. Why do most women choose to strip? Because they are stupid and trade the here and now for a posible good future looking for money, attention, pleasure and confirmation of their body when they should try to do something of value for the money and seek confirmation of their character instead looking for pleasure only with those they love and trust to avoid later hurts and losses. This comming from someone who knows many in the business and who has left the business, it has nothing of value it is an act of poor priorities and desparation.

I recently met a girl who moved to the United States a month ago, and to my area a week ago. I would very much like to find better work for her. Please help.

I think that’s hypocritical for anyone to go strip clubs, and then criticize them behind close doors or publicly. I do not agree with stripping, but it’s legal…until the government makes stripping illegal….some women and men will continue to degrade themselves, and some strippers will advise that it’s excusable because they make a lot of money and because the men usually come to them. Some strippers do not see the problem stripping because some of them claim that some men are lonely and want temporary companionship. If that’s the case….what about the women who converse with other lonely men….they’re not spreading their legs, having sex, or soliciting for sex…..why won’t the men who are not in a relationship, marriage, or enagament pay the other women who aren’t stripping or prostituting if all they’re looking for is companionship/conversation..but if a man would like to pay the women who are not strippers or prostitutes insead of going to a strip club, hotel, or the strippers/prostitutes personal residence. Some men pay therapists and listen to comedians….that’s legal. Every time a woman uplifts a man without doing anything sexual…that should be commended. What’s between a woman’s legs is sacred…not a weapon or tool to try and control men.

Im a stripper i want out immediately please help. My email is iheartme1988@gmail.com

we are friends with a dad whose daughter strips. We are trying to get her out of it, she is filled with shame and cannot look me in the eye when she comes over. The poor kid is losing self respect each and every night she goes up on stage. I feel for her and am hoping we can help her get out of it. I don’t even want to think about how she’ll feel about herself when she hits 30 something. How will her resume look then? What kind of job will she get then? Think about this, what if it were your daughter on stage?

I strip because I can’t find a job doing anything else. I have a medical assisting degree and some college credits. I have applied everywhere including wal mart and mcdonalds with no luck. Temp agencies have no accounts because the economy is so bad. I am signed up with all of them in my city.I don’t want to be a dancer, I do it because I have no other option. Medical assisting jobs are few and far between. They only want people with experience. I have a child to feed and bills to pay. If welfare was an option I would take it. I can only get benefits if I agree to quit my job and go to their work school, which is basically working for a company full time for $300 dollars a month , food stamps and health care. I can’t afford to do that. Going back to school is not an option for me. The only thing that is allowing me to survive is stripping. Until I can find a full time job,which seems to be hopelessly impossible these days, stripping is the only thing preventing me from being homeless. And stripping is not great money all the time. It’s feast or famine. Men are struggling with money lately and can’t afford to go to clubs like before the economy went to HELL. I have friend with a nursing degree who is in the same boat as I am. We feel like we wasted our time and money working so hard to get through school to graduate with no jobs available. We aren’t the only ones, you would be surprised how many strippers have degrees. Given the choice, I would not be stripping. At this time, I don’t have a choice.

Woman who work at strip clubs are whores plain and simple, NO ONE respects them!

Hit me up at my email! Like to talk to you!