The following was a poem submitted by the aunt of Kermit Delashment Jr. Read more about him here.
My Heart Bleeds
This letter is to every thug and gangster on the street,
Every drug dealer and hustler that I may or may not meet.
I don’t think you can see quite what I see,
But I hope you hear my heart in the words that I speak.
Today I make my desperate plea,
For you to listen about how you can stop making my heart bleed.
I’m trying to love you the way you deserve to be,
But you’re making loving you way too hard for me.
Every time you choose to use a gun,
You kill my husband, my brother, my nephew, my son.
Maybe you two just didn’t agree,
Or maybe he was in the wrong place on the street.
But when you kill him you kill a part of me,
And now loving you is becoming more difficult for me.
See God created woman to partner with you,
So in a woman’s heart that’s all she really wants to do.
She desires to support your every dream,
except when it consists of danger, pain and being mean.
Please don’t ask us to hold your drug stash,
While you’re selling drugs trying to get a little cash.
See if the cops find it on you or me,
Both of us won’t be able to raise our family.
Yes a woman can do it all by herself.
But it’s more difficult without you and she could use your help.
A single parent homes is not the way God intended things to be,
But your choices are making this a reality for me.
I can’t raise him to be a strong man like you would do,
But when I’m left with no choice you can bet I’m gonna do what I gotta do.
I’d rather raise him with you as my husband by my side,
So together we can show him commitment, integrity and family pride.
I want to love you the way you deserve to be,
But Man you’re making loving you way too hard for me.
See the white racist who still hate us and wish we were dead,
Still draw ropes around our head on our pictures in the paper when we’re dead.
They sit back and laugh as you take each others lives,
Because the hate they have for us is now transferred into your eyes.
So instead of you seeing another brother trying to survive like you and me,
You see a man who looks just like you, as your enemy.
I’m here to make my desperate plea,
For every man to see the power in him that I see.
You have enough sense to build and run a gang,
To strategize and organize for the sake of your gang’s name.
You establish territory, recruit and train others to do the same.
Can’t you see you’re a leader Man, a business man with potential for great fame.
Why not use your power to mentor and train every boy that you meet.
Teach them to value life, education and integrity.
Tell them about the mistakes that you’ve made,
So they will grow. Do you know how many lives you can save?
See they come to you when they don’t understand me,
When they come I need you to teach them not to make my heart bleed.
My heart bleeds when I watch you get carried to jail,
It bleeds when you’re sentences to live in a jail cell.
It bleeds when you struggle to rejoin the society.
It bleeds when you can’t get a job because of a felony.
It bleeds when you call me out of my name.
It bleeds when you say this is me and I won’t change.
It bleeds when you choose to drop out of school.
It bleeds when you’re out cursing, drinking, and smoking like a fool.
It bleeds for every fatherless child in the world.
It bleeds when you fail to father your little girl.
It bleeds when you choose not love God completely.
And it bleeds when you choose the streets over your family.
There are thousands of women longing for marriage and a family.
But so many of you are taken by guns, drugs and homosexuality.
Many of us genuinely want to support and love you,
But when you choose violence and drugs over us we don’t know what to do.
For years your choices have jeopardized our lives, families and communities.
Please tell me when you’re going to stop making every woman’s heart bleed?
This is not what God intended for you to be,
A thug, a drug dealer or gangster out on the street.
When God’s true purpose and you finally meet,
Loving you will become much easier for me.
Then I can support you as you fulfill your divine destiny.
But If you never pursue that, my heart will continue to bleed.
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