Comments on: Those divorcin’ christians

By: Ayo2406

Ayo2406 — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:06:00 +0000

You remember your vow to your spouse and to Christ and you stick it out. Do what it took to get your man or woman and pray that the Lord would restore.

By: Rozz - ATL

Rozz - ATL — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 15:47:00 +0000

God has blessed me to be with my marriage partner for 25 years. However, I came out of a divorce family. Marriage is so deep, and yes it changes! You must work on your marriage as you work on your jobs, it’s a daily work. We have two kids and yes it changes at first when the kids come but we must press on. Our kids our now in there teens. You must surround yourself with individuals that want to work their marriage, and stay faithful to each other.

We have to work on our minds that we keep God close. You can see other individuals that look good but it doesn’t mean that they are “GOOD” for you. We have to guard our hearts and minds. The enemy is a lie…….!

My husband is my best friend and we put in our time with each other. It’s important to have open communication with each other. We need to keep friend and family out of our relationships. I love spending time with him, and yes the relationship evolves. We have had valley and mountain experiences. However, I pray for higher heights with my spouse. I believe if we both decide to make out relationship special, it can be heaven on earth. God is awesome.

By: Angela

Angela — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 13:29:00 +0000

Preach my brother preach. I am a living witness to your last statement. My children and I lived with a fine up standing so called Christian man for ten years. The whole ten years was a life of toture and pain. I thank God daily for giving me the courage and the strength to leave. I figure I needed to after the last attack was tyring to set me on fire in front of my children. I have has to struggle just a bit with the I am not welcome any more and that God does not love me any more from friend and family. But each day I daily repent and take comfort that God is a loving and forgiving God no matter what people say to me. Besides I tell people until you live through what I did don’t be quick to judge me. I live with my first husband butt whipping and all til death did us part so I am all for working it out but without being someones punching bag. Marraige is a a beautiful union that God has blessed us with but it take two to work it out with God as the head.I believe if men would stand up and take a real stand for the things of God and stop allow the devil to direct their lives then us sisters would have some mighty men of God!

By: keedy

keedy — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 07:31:57 +0000

Marriage is something as a christian you must seek God about..i married the person i chose and not the one God chose for me..i found out he lied about everything..when we married he was already in 3 relationships…and out his mouth He has never been faithful. even after finding out some relationships he had i still stayed and tried to make it work..God showed me many times in dreams the things he was doing..We have recently split after going on 9 years of marrige. i do take marriage seriously and made my vows till death do us part..its hurst real bad not only did he cheat but he lied for years to men and women about how bad our marriage was which was not the case..it was a role he played..God said he wasn’t the one and where im going he cannot go..

By: Precious

Precious — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 15:42:33 +0000

I agree with Jeff,I think he’s correct when he say ppl give up way too easy,and that it’s not hard when you have Christ in the center of your marriage. Also, I must comment on Po’Rican, he asked what do you do when you come to terms of you’ve fallen out of love. I don’t think ppl fall out of love. I think because ppl have wondering eyes and so many other options today meaning people will accept you with your mess ( excuses of why your not happy in your marriage,not taking responsiblity of your family but saying your not happy or you don’t love anymore)or just living any kind of way, it’s been accepted so yes, it’s said I don’t love him/her. I believe if there was noone else entertaining the individual and they were seeking the lord even if the feelings wasn’t there, the lord will rekindle the affection if both wanted the relationship. When we make the lord the one we seek in all our doing he’ll help us, but we must want his help and wait on him and that love will burst forth like a flower in spring.

By: Po' Rican

Po' Rican — Tue, 18 May 2010 14:02:05 +0000

Jeff, that is true…but what do you do when come to terms with the reality that you’ve ‘fallen out of love’ with your spouse???

By: Jeff Cooke

Jeff Cooke — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 07:12:33 +0000

Divorce is such a terrible disease. People give up way too easy. I’ve been married for almost 29 years and have never known another woman. It’s not that hard if you got priorities and Christ is truly the center of the marriage.

By: oge

oge — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:54:28 +0000

it’s sad reading all these stories. marriage began the day you said i do and you have to work it out till death parts you guys. it takes 1 party to play the fool. I have seen couples whose marriage hit the rocks but because one person agreed to forgive, things became better. For the young ones, order your steps in God, and he will direct your paths, choosing a life partner inclusive. God still loves the divorcee and he has something better. Don’t let your christianity be just head knowledge, Get God’s word inside of your life and experience the transforming power of the Holyspirit. God bless you.

By: Mad4Christ

Mad4Christ — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:14:20 +0000

It is sad to hear about all the divorces happening in the kingdom. It is also sad to hear about the people who are gurting in their marriages. Unfortunately, it does not leave children unaffected, and this in turn affects the future generation. Let’s not forget something, the enemy seeks to dissolve the irrefutability of God’s word. It’s not about me or you. Even where we have erred, let’s teach our children right and show them the way they should go. The God way. No need for justifications, explanations…cos if knock down one principle of God’s word, why hold up the rest. What makes the one different from the other.

By: Duane

Duane — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 02:06:09 +0000

We were church leaders, built our home, 3 kids, BMW, minivan and had the perfect Christian image!! The "the perfect Christian image" for a family is not the stuff you mentioned. Instead, it begins with a man who truly loves God, treats and loves his wife as Christ treats his church and loves his children. If this was not in place to begin with, then from the way it sounds, the problems were a lot deeper than what you have presented here. Again, the "image" only tells half of the story. I know of a woman whose family attended church faithfully and looked like they walked right off of a Ebony magazine cover. This woman later found out that her husband was sleeping around with another man who happened to have AIDS. Not only that, her son would walk around the house with shirts tied around his waist because he wanted to be a girl. Where did he get that from? His dad. But if you were to see these folks in church, you would not have known any of that was going on. Last I heard, she had to leave her husband and move on with her life. There is no scripture in the bible that says "God hates the divorcee". Instead, He said that He hates divorce. BUT WAIT!!! Check out this link. I found it to be quite interesting as it provides a more complete biblical historical interpretation of God's hatred towards divorce. What I was addressing in this post was this culture of divorce that has been going on in the church for years. The majority of them not involving the severity of mess you had to deal with. I have seen Christian men be the most abusive to their wives and that is sad! Now is this statement based on your own experience?

By: abused and misused

abused and misused — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:25:37 +0000

I was married 13 years and am going through a divorce. I was a stay at home mom 10 years and although I have a degree I stayed home and homeschooled our 3 children for 5 years. My marriage was full of emotional abuse and neglect. We were church leaders, built our home, 3 kids, BMW, minivan and had the perfect Christian image!! But my husband felt he was entitled to treat me however he wanted. He saw a wife as a slave not a friend. After much prayer I left and I truly know the meaning of, “where the spirit of The Lord is there is freedom.” I have seen Christian men be the most abusive to their wives and that is sad!

By: Teach4Christ

Teach4Christ — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:27:31 +0000

Fred hammond is my favorite singer. I’m sorry for what he went through. “There is a way that SEEMS right to man”

By: Susan D

Susan D — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 03:36:39 +0000

It was Fred Hammond’s cd, “I Want My Destiny” that got me through my divorce seven years ago. As a striving Christian, my marriage was supposed to last until Jesus returned. Unfortunately, one cannot have a marriage alone. One evening when I was home alone, I was listening to a local gospel station in the ATL when the DJ said to call and sing your favorite Fred Hammond song and win his latest CD. Well that was easy for me. Innercourt was the cd that held my favorite song, Lift up your hands to the Lord. I sang the song and won “I Want My Destiny” That CD was the blanket of comfort that I so desperately needed at that time. The Lord showed me a lot during this time, including the fact that I was not to be alone. I am happy to also say that the Lord brought the right man to me at just the right time. He also blessed me with two beautiful boys. Sometimes, it is not the Lords desire to see you in a bad situation. Often times, we go into these important decisions and don’t seek Him on it until the problems start. If we had sought Him before hand, He may have let us know that the person we wanted was not the person He wanted for us. I know that’s what I did. But thankfully, He is merciful and provides grace and rewards us even when we don’t desearve it. I will pray for those who are in the valley of decision and hope that they will allow the Lord to lead them. Be blessed and Happy Sabbath!

By: Charmaine

Charmaine — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 01:53:18 +0000

As a divorced christian, all I can say is it hurts but it helps to pray and talk to others about your feelings. My situation was after 13 yrs, he left me for another woman – a mutual friend (Christian) – and as a pastor, he seemed oblivious to the damage he was doing. iT WAS HARD for me to forgive him, but thanks to a caring Pastor who had been there before, I was able to release my hurt, forgive and move on with my life – it really helped me when I found out it really wasn’t my fault, but the decision – for whatever reason – had been his – to do what he wanted to do.

Today, we communicate. and I expect to remarry when God sends my husband. Praise GOD! HE causes all things to work together for our good.

By: Sister Tyanna Pollard-Berry

Sister Tyanna Pollard-Berry — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 21:06:22 +0000

Thank you so much for allowing me to express my views as God would see fit you are only as great as your faith.

By: Sister Tyanna Pollard-Berry

Sister Tyanna Pollard-Berry — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 21:03:41 +0000

Marriage is a covenant before God & it is what you put into it. The one thing people forget is that it takes two to make it work. I, myself being a divorced Christian hated to have to divorce but due to the circumstances of violence that prevailed I simply had to protect my children. I am glad I know that even though I divorced to protect my family God knew that I did not enter in my covenant lightly. So even if you are a Christian who has been through a really difficult divorce it is better than staying in a bad marriage. The most important advice I can give anyone is learn from your mistakes & don’t make a bad situation worse. Simply put, if marriage did not work the first time around don’t give up. I can happily say the second time around was better than the first because I appreciate God more for all that he had gotten my family through the first time.

By: Saudia

Saudia — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 13:16:49 +0000

Chris Rock said it best “people are only as faithful as their option” I agree with AA DAD. a marriage is a work in progress. It is a fluid thing. It is not true that absences make the heart grow fonder. If you are touring and in the studio and never at home how can you expect to have a marriage last. Americans like to believe that they can have it all and you can’t. I stay at home with my son because I want to raise him. If you want your marriage to last you must 1st show up.

By: AFRICAN AMERICAN DAD

AFRICAN AMERICAN DAD — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 13:37:51 +0000

Marriage is something that has to be worked at, and should not be gone into lightly. Married couples that I have come across in my work often say things like “it’s not the same as when we first met,” or “after the baby was born everything changed.” Yes, that’s probably true, however no relationship can stay exactly the same forever. It must evolve. My relationships with my junior high school buddies are much different today than they were 16 years ago. As far as marriage goes, if you want the infatuation that you felt when you first laid your eyes on your partner to last the next 60 years, then you have another thing coming. Those feelings must flow into a true friendship based on love, honesty, respect (and the occasional adventure). Throughout the years infatuation will come and go, but the foundation on which your marriage is built should not.