The other day, a good friend of mine in the music scene gave me a call. After we finished catching up on news about family and friends we started talking about the temptations he has encountered being a happily-married Christian man with children in the music industry. The conversation later went into the divorce rate amongst high-profile gospel artists. He first told me about Yolanda Adams and her recent divorce. Thinking that he was talking about her divorce from a few years ago, I said “Yeah, I know about that.” But later in the conversation I came to realize that the divorce he was referring to was to her second husband after just a few years of marriage. Then my friend informed me that Fred Hammond was also recently divorced. “Fred Hammond, too!” I thought to myself. So later that evening I decided to do a search to see what other gospel artists had also gone through divorce since they became saved. The image above is are just some of the well-known gospel artists out there who have also gone through this similar situation.
Now please keep in mind that divorce is not something just regulated to gospel artists. In fact, the divorce rate in the church in general is on par with the divorce rate outside of this institution. Unless we get a handle on this trend and are willing to face it for what it is, then it would be foolish for us as Christians to expect the world to see the value of strong, Godly families.
Below is a link to an article that I think that you will enjoy reading at your leisure. This article goes into more detail of this issue that I hope you will find informative.
Why can’t Christians stay married?
Here are some other interesting articles…
Don’t Believe the Divorce Statistics: Why your marriage has better than a 50/50 chance
Bible Belt Battles High Divorce Rates
I think that the first article really nailed it by making the assertion that many Christians view marriage as a fulfillment of “Christian duty” and not a joining together of two different people who can and will get on each other’s nerves from time to time. Holding hands in the pew is one thing, but when the time comes when brah-man wants to have long, hot sex while sistah-girl is too tired–all the scriptures in the world ain’t gonna help. Neither will all of those “Breakthrough” tapes in your car. All those messages about how the wife is supposed to submit to her husband will go right out the window. Fortunately for my wife and I, we had friends who had been married for YEARS who took the time to mentor us before we became married. We saw them when they argued as well as times when they had to deal with stressful family issues. It was like having our very own backstage pass to a marriage. Without having those kind of living examples in our lives, I don’t know how we could have made it this far.
Sphere: Related Content
October 8th, 2006 at 6:37 am
Marriage is something that has to be worked at, and should not be gone into lightly. Married couples that I have come across in my work often say things like “it’s not the same as when we first met,” or “after the baby was born everything changed.” Yes, that’s probably true, however no relationship can stay exactly the same forever. It must evolve. My relationships with my junior high school buddies are much different today than they were 16 years ago. As far as marriage goes, if you want the infatuation that you felt when you first laid your eyes on your partner to last the next 60 years, then you have another thing coming. Those feelings must flow into a true friendship based on love, honesty, respect (and the occasional adventure). Throughout the years infatuation will come and go, but the foundation on which your marriage is built should not.
October 9th, 2006 at 6:16 am
Chris Rock said it best “people are only as faithful as their option” I agree with AA DAD. a marriage is a work in progress. It is a fluid thing. It is not true that absences make the heart grow fonder. If you are touring and in the studio and never at home how can you expect to have a marriage last. Americans like to believe that they can have it all and you can’t. I stay at home with my son because I want to raise him. If you want your marriage to last you must 1st show up.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Marriage is a covenant before God & it is what you put into it. The one thing people forget is that it takes two to make it work. I, myself being a divorced Christian hated to have to divorce but due to the circumstances of violence that prevailed I simply had to protect my children. I am glad I know that even though I divorced to protect my family God knew that I did not enter in my covenant lightly. So even if you are a Christian who has been through a really difficult divorce it is better than staying in a bad marriage. The most important advice I can give anyone is learn from your mistakes & don’t make a bad situation worse. Simply put, if marriage did not work the first time around don’t give up. I can happily say the second time around was better than the first because I appreciate God more for all that he had gotten my family through the first time.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Thank you so much for allowing me to express my views as God would see fit you are only as great as your faith.
June 16th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
As a divorced christian, all I can say is it hurts but it helps to pray and talk to others about your feelings. My situation was after 13 yrs, he left me for another woman – a mutual friend (Christian) – and as a pastor, he seemed oblivious to the damage he was doing. iT WAS HARD for me to forgive him, but thanks to a caring Pastor who had been there before, I was able to release my hurt, forgive and move on with my life – it really helped me when I found out it really wasn’t my fault, but the decision – for whatever reason – had been his – to do what he wanted to do.
Today, we communicate. and I expect to remarry when God sends my husband. Praise GOD! HE causes all things to work together for our good.
August 17th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
It was Fred Hammond’s cd, “I Want My Destiny” that got me through my divorce seven years ago. As a striving Christian, my marriage was supposed to last until Jesus returned. Unfortunately, one cannot have a marriage alone. One evening when I was home alone, I was listening to a local gospel station in the ATL when the DJ said to call and sing your favorite Fred Hammond song and win his latest CD. Well that was easy for me. Innercourt was the cd that held my favorite song, Lift up your hands to the Lord. I sang the song and won “I Want My Destiny” That CD was the blanket of comfort that I so desperately needed at that time. The Lord showed me a lot during this time, including the fact that I was not to be alone. I am happy to also say that the Lord brought the right man to me at just the right time. He also blessed me with two beautiful boys. Sometimes, it is not the Lords desire to see you in a bad situation. Often times, we go into these important decisions and don’t seek Him on it until the problems start. If we had sought Him before hand, He may have let us know that the person we wanted was not the person He wanted for us. I know that’s what I did. But thankfully, He is merciful and provides grace and rewards us even when we don’t desearve it. I will pray for those who are in the valley of decision and hope that they will allow the Lord to lead them. Be blessed and Happy Sabbath!
September 30th, 2008 at 12:27 am
Fred hammond is my favorite singer. I’m sorry for what he went through. “There is a way that SEEMS right to man”
April 12th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I was married 13 years and am going through a divorce. I was a stay at home mom 10 years and although I have a degree I stayed home and homeschooled our 3 children for 5 years. My marriage was full of emotional abuse and neglect. We were church leaders, built our home, 3 kids, BMW, minivan and had the perfect Christian image!! But my husband felt he was entitled to treat me however he wanted. He saw a wife as a slave not a friend. After much prayer I left and I truly know the meaning of, “where the spirit of The Lord is there is freedom.” I have seen Christian men be the most abusive to their wives and that is sad!
April 12th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
We were church leaders, built our home, 3 kids, BMW, minivan and had the perfect Christian image!!
The “the perfect Christian image” for a family is not the stuff you mentioned. Instead, it begins with a man who truly loves God, treats and loves his wife as Christ treats his church and loves his children. If this was not in place to begin with, then from the way it sounds, the problems were a lot deeper than what you have presented here. Again, the “image” only tells half of the story.
I know of a woman whose family attended church faithfully and looked like they walked right off of a Ebony magazine cover. This woman later found out that her husband was sleeping around with another man who happened to have AIDS. Not only that, her son would walk around the house with shirts tied around his waist because he wanted to be a girl. Where did he get that from? His dad. But if you were to see these folks in church, you would not have known any of that was going on. Last I heard, she had to leave her husband and move on with her life.
There is no scripture in the bible that says “God hates the divorcee”. Instead, He said that He hates divorce. BUT WAIT!!! Check out this link. I found it to be quite interesting as it provides a more complete biblical historical interpretation of God’s hatred towards divorce.
What I was addressing in this post was this culture of divorce that has been going on in the church for years. The majority of them not involving the severity of mess you had to deal with.
I have seen Christian men be the most abusive to their wives and that is sad!
Now is this statement based on your own experience?