Comments on: 10 Harmful Things Single Mothers Do To Ruin Their Sons Lives (Part 1)

By: frits

frits — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 18:04:00 +0000

great story i,m frits rissy this is how i see it, may be our stories will help society to gow up and slow down a litle, remeber how the builder gout to be a builder with effort,end a dream,??

By: FRICE

FRICE — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:47:00 +0000

reply to alisha when i was growing up in europe i was 9years young when the war was going on and buy the time i finished my sixt grade i was 16 years old but that didnot stoped me from duing something with my life like learning a trade i was a carpenter by age 18 pot a roof an my neibers new house got paid with shyni new BYCICLE, I WAS PROUD AS A PEACOCK, MAY BE THIS WILL HELP YOU TO CLEAR YOUR MIND OF ALL THAT GARBAGE ??????

By: Sisao_tresed

Sisao_tresed — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 06:41:00 +0000

Nothing changes until we embrace the man/woman in the mirror, and stop blaming others for OUR plight in life.

By: A mother.

A mother. — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:55:00 +0000

You aren’t a therapist. One situation is not the all situations. Who guided Racine in her parenting after the baby was born? Where you there each and every morning and night with her and her son?

Perhaps her son is acting out simply because his father was a complete failure and his mother just did the best she could. If he is abusive, then someone should do an intervention before he is arrested for murder.

If any institution, agency or individual urged women to remain chaste/virgins until they married, they would be laughed out of the room, humiliated, insulted and the list goes on. However, most women know that if they had limited their sexual activities with someone responsible, someone they were had taken the time to know and be married to there would be a small number of single mothers. Of course, young men would have to be socialized and trained to not have sex with anything that moves, to be morally responsible and to understand what someone else does and says is just that — someone else claiming to do this or that.

One of our greatest issues is that most African Americans live a desire based lifestyle. For whatever reasons, very few of us have patience, plan ahead (way ahead) and regard our sexuality on a high level. Society, ‘The Man”, Racism, whatever has given most of us permission to be immoral less than human beings where women can dress but be naked, men can have numerous children without the benefit of marriage, anyone can sing or rhyme about their sexual preferences, activities and escapades and it is ok.

By: SandyS40

SandyS40 — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:10:00 +0000

I know am years late reading this article but the question is what do we as black mother;s not to mention black single mothers, for both our boys and girls? Let’s look at the problem and find a solution most likely at the heart of the matter – the way we bring up our children. It’s stressful being a single parent man or woman, but when you look at the whole issue – don’t you think we should try to bring up our daughters differently too? And bring up our sons differently? What is it that our grandparents did that we are missing today? Are we so stressed out trying to earn a living and bringing these children up as single parents? Do we have so much drama in our marriages that it’s affecting the way we are bringing up these children? I think we should focus on the upbringing and all circumstances surrounding a home at the time of bringing up our children instead of exchanging bitter words.

By: Complimento10

Complimento10 — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 10:50:00 +0000

There are some valid points to this blog. Mothers (black/white) who have children to keep a man or for finanical gain are disappointed when the man and the money is not what was expected or the man and the money is gone. Precious’ mom (using the term lightly) is not alone. Many mothers fail to love themselves, value who they are and consequently, value their children.

Discussing an abusive mother is still somewhat taboo. Yet, we see many children failing socially, economically, spiritually and mentally.Try talking to a sick and low self-esteem mother about her child. Each response begins with “I” or ”he” (daddy); rarely does a sentence begin with the child’s name. Accountability is lost. Defenses come up.

And yet, there are mothers who happen to be black and or white and single parents. They do well raising their children. We have too many examples of men who are successful in all arenas of life and yet, they were raised by single mothers.

As we continue to have discussions about these type of issues one thing is consistent, we fail to see men be selective, step up to the plate and take ownership on the issue. Some men do but like many women not enough.

By: lawandorder39

lawandorder39 — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 15:42:00 +0000

Your responce is what is exspected, if youre not looking at the bigger picture.
I work in law enforcement Corrections and the leading race of people incarsirated jails/prisons are black men and women. Then you have the juveniles from ages 12 to 17 again black male and females lead the way.
So you tell me where does it start, at conception. The word (MOTHER) is defined as unselfish, unbios, respectful of ones self, does’nt allow their child to be exposed to ones negative life style, presents a clean home, teaches the child good morals and values, does’nt send the child out to school with dirty clothing, baggy pants hanging off their but with their under where showing, Keep their daughters hair fixed just as they keep their hair done every two wks. Spends quality time with the children, involved in their schooling and sports. All this is based on a foundation of Gods word.
Most of the time women of today put their needs, happiness, friends and the failed relationship with men coming and going before the kids. Remember our children are like sponges. What you do alround them takes it’s toll on their lives. God gave women the gift of child bareing but to hold the title Mother many women fall short and can only hold the title of mom or egg donor. Just as many men are sperm donors.
Stop being a friend to our children first and be parents first.
Most of our black kids are being left behind because of the way they are being brought up. The women from older generations of the pass were stronger and better mothers then the women now.

By: single mother grants

single mother grants — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 05:47:00 +0000

thanks for sharing this wonderful information…………this well definitely help the single mothers………………..

By: Msjessicarabbit2005

Msjessicarabbit2005 — Thu, 12 May 2011 20:46:00 +0000

My question is what was the author doing all the while this abuse was happening? Was he showing racine a better way, mentoring her boys encouraging and supporting her. Also apart from reporting on the generational effect of the abuse, how has he modelled manhood to the confused and wounded Joseph, (yes I am assuming the author is male).

It is easy to watch from the stands but it takes a brave
, compassionate and genuine person to get their hands dirty and help someone else clear up their mess.

By: single parent grants

single parent grants — Tue, 10 May 2011 07:50:00 +0000

Thanks for the information.. I was not aware that such things happened with the children when the mothers are single.. I think some actions fro there progress must be taken..

By: Mrsroe36

Mrsroe36 — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 18:19:00 +0000

Food for thought!

By: Philknolan

Philknolan — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 16:37:00 +0000

this sad state of affairs is the result of moral depravity, pure and simple. Going through life without regard for sin and the consequences will give you what they got.

By: Joeschmo

Joeschmo — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 02:31:00 +0000

I find it funny that you called her an idiot because she’s old fashioned and also insulted her intelligence. Yet, you will not find the word bigot in her writing.

Good luck condoning premarital sex to everyone you know and watch as their lives crumble due to drama, STD(s) and many small components that cause stress. Congrats!

By: guest

guest — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 02:28:00 +0000

Parenting does come with a handbook. It’s called, “Go to a book store or library and find that many people have written books about parenting.” Duh.

By: Aronwellslucero

Aronwellslucero — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 12:58:00 +0000

this is just terrible. even the story is terrible.

By: Lynda

Lynda — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 06:58:24 +0000

For every single mother who abuses her son there are 98 who don’t, and who bring them up to expect the woman in their lives to be loving, hadworking, fair and useful like their mothers were.

Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook, but like anything else that is really important, if the single mom does her best without obsessing about it and lets her kids know that she loves them, all the Christmases without presents and the doing without and making do only strengthen the child/ren and teach them that there’s more important things than things.

Children from loving single-mom homes are very concerned about providing for their children and expect decency, faithfulness and tangible love from their partners. That is not a bad thing!

By: John

John — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 21:36:42 +0000

This article is right on target. You want a list of 10 to do right? Reverse the 10 things he said to do wrong. Furthermore, I did not see anywhere in his article where he aimed at the black community. These same mistakes are seen very much among whites, particularly in the southern bible belt, and wives with poor marriages in which they make the son a substitute spouse.

By: Alisha

Alisha — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:17:55 +0000

Your views are narrow-minded and typical of women who have not experienced many areas outside of their version of reality. You are confused easily by the Patriarchal non-sense that has become the Black Church, and have the audacity to claim no ACCOUNTABILITY for the fathers. Are you crazy..or simply stupid. Within areas such as D.C./MD, GA, Detroit, and places where the Black communities in general have problems..you will experience more of these so called Single Mother Problems. But I beg of you..because you are incredibly simple-minded, to pay attention to the pattern that is developing..No Accountability for the father & constantly blaming the Mother. You are a sad old-fashioned idiot. And people like you, with complexes are the reason that these male children are not succeeded. There is a name for those that are simple such as yourself, where we come from. But since we are both Spiritual people; I don’t care to have bad taste-as you do, and use it here. Idiot.

By: Shay McClinton

Shay McClinton — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 21:32:38 +0000

I believe this is the perfect album for the single mother… I just saw her trailer the other day.. whole album, soul rnb with hip hop/latin/jazz flavor.. Laura Luke, album called Single Mother Chronicles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?

By: Catherine Tibaaga

Catherine Tibaaga — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 16:37:15 +0000

Abuse begets abuse. Victims can become perpetrators and perpetrators can become victims. Mothers who are in distress who have a history of trauma are capable of abusing their children. As a feminist, I believe in the emotional, spiritual and mental empowerment of women because when we are empowered, we are better mothers to our sons and daughters. With equal rights comes equal responsibility and that means that as mothers and nurturers, we have a responsibility to protect our children from danger and to treat our children with love and respect. Although I empathize with many of the women who are victims of abuse, trauma and single parenthood, that does not give them the right to hurt children. Children are innocent and they are placed in our care because they do not have the emotional and mental capacities to sustain themselves in a healthy manner. Therefore, as mothers and fathers, we are their teacher and guiders. Anyone who abuses that relationship, man or woman should be held accountable.